Words of Wisdom

“Guys are assholes.

If you argue with him, you’re hard-headed. If you’re quiet, you don’t care. If you call him, you’re too clingy crazy. If he calls you, he says you should be happy.

If you don’t love him, he’ll try to win you. When you do love him, he leaves. If you don’t fuck him, you’re a tease. If you do, you’re easy. You tell him your problems, he says you’re irritating. If you don’t, he says you don’t trust him. If you lecture him, you just want to argue. If he lectures you, it’s because he ‘cares.’ If you break a promise, he doesn’t trust you anymore. If he breaks it, it’s because he had to.

If you cheat, he expects it to be over. If he cheats, he wants another chance. Guys drink to forget about girls; girls drink to think back about the guy. When guys are in love, they become poor; when girls are in love, they become pretty. Guys can forget, but can’t forgive; girls can forgive, but can’t forget.

When guys are heart-broken, they try to forget about the girl by going out with another girl; when girls are heart-broken, they try to find his characteristics in another guy. Guys wish to be her first love; girls wish to be his last.”

Got it from my BFF Peiqin.

The wonders of makeup and photoshop. Seriously.

C,

“Oh my God, my life sucks.”

-C.

Two Jokes

Kids, when you say you won’t fall asleep, you will.

So the joke is, about 4 weeks ago, I drove over to Calvin’s because he is all whiny, ‘FMLFMLFMLFML’ and shit. I reached his place, don’t how to parallel park, left my car in the mid of the road with my emergency flashers on. Called him 67 times, but no answer. Imagine how I feel at that point. My man fell asleep, while waiting for me.

So the other joke is, he felt so guilty, he decided to take the bus to my place at 4 in the morning. (*awwww)

I FELL ASLEEP.

He tried waking me up using bbm:

C:  feel really bad for falling asleep just now -_-” D:I am going to fall asleep too D:Yay C:Anyways C:See you soon C:Don’t fall asleep till I get there C:The door doesn’t open itself C:And I know its locked C:So… C:I’ll call you periodically to make sure you’re still awake C:B you still awake??? C:Baby!!! C:Babe don’t you dare fall asleep now C:I’m in the cold C:I’m at the bus stop C:Please be awake C:I’m gonna knock on the door like crazy
LOL. Imagine THAT. I woke up after he vigorously knocked on my apartment door. That’s all! — PS. I was looking through the bbm history because I miss Le Boyfriend, so much.

My Winter Obssesion:

I’m Wondering…

What if I REALLY quit crubbing clubbing?

The boyfriend has been urging, emphasizing, nagging and reprimanding. I understand, of course, the consequences of going back to the club again. Not only Calvin though, my girlfriends too, my best friends, my parents wants me to severe emotional ties with my partying habits. And I understand why. Well, Mary told me to cut down. I DID cut down, boyfriend just refuse to acquit and wants me to let it ALL go.

Everyone knows I partyevery weekend, It’s in my blood, in my system. I live and breath for clubs. I love to party. It makes me feel that tomorrow never comes. To dance with my 5 inch heels, until I can’t feel my feet anymore. Feeling  the bass piercing through my spine at every heart beat. The infinite high. With the rhythm of the music; I waved my hands in the air, moving with the crowd.

The light shows and patron tequila.

Shots after shots of B151. When trying to convey something, I have to scream or type it on my cell. When I laugh, no one can hear me when I cry, no one can see me, when I sing to the lyrics of the song, no one care, when I dance like a monkey on the pump, no one can judge me; I always I feel that I died a little inside. All dark and loud, engulfing EVERYTHING. Like nothing matters, NO RESPONSIBILITIES. Raising a shot glass and drinking it for my wrecked up friends. Adios never fail me. Grey Goose makes me loose. Super Ultra Flaming Lambo is the sex. When the phone rings, you want to just throw it on the ground. When I fall because I got too high, someone will catch me.

I feel nothing.

The hangover, oh yes.

So, what if I quit my hardcore partying?

1. I get to keep, ‘keep’, the boyfriend happy and healthy.

2. I don’t have to lie to my parents.

3. Decrease risks of drinking and driving.

4.I will have a smaller social circle.

5. I will save so much money, because if I don’t go partAAAy, I don’t have to spend $40-80 on tickets and drinks.

6. My grades, (I don’t have to explain.) will get better.

—

It’s not easy, I swear.

—

*10 seconds later

Juwita: “Wiii, fedde le grand di ruby skye, gimana niiii?”

—

I need my boyfriend, HERE, NOW.

—

…the music beckoning us, and then you whispered,

“Here we are, we’ve come so far.”

Putting Gullibility on the Test

Skype phone conversation.

Dewi: Poh san, I’m in Changi Airport right now.

Mary: Ya right.

Dewi: Seriously.

Mary: Really? You joking I swear to God, I will.. What’s the weather in Singapore now?

Dewi: Sunny! ( shit, starts to google ’singapore weather’)

Mary: HAHAHAH, WRONG!

Dewi: eh eh wrong, it’s drizzling right? and it’s 5.06pm?

Mary: OH MYY GOD! WHERE YOU NOW?

Dewi: Changi Airport!!

Mary: OH MY GODD, (this is the part where she starts screaming and announcing to the whole world that I came back.)

Dewi: HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Mary: Dewi you better not be joking, why you came back?

Dewi: Zouk Out! DUH.

Mary: (Starts to discuss my itinerary in Singapore etc. while me and brother starts laughing on the foreground)

Dewi: *furthers discuss too*

Mary: OH MY GOD CAN’T WAIT.

Dewi: Ok la, joking la. I’m just bored.

Mary: OMG, YOU DIE. I CRYING ALREADY *HANGS UP*

I love you seriously, your gullibility.

 

Microwave 101

My brother ‘exploded’ our new microwave we bought 2 weeks ago.

Yes, he ‘exploded’ it before.

The first time he did was when he was too lazy to cook the instant noodles in a pot; So he joyfully decided to boil and cook the instant noodle IN the microwave. Which he claimed that I did it before and nothing happened. When I do that, I WAIT for the water to get heated FIRST before I put in the noodles. The microwave then exploded, giving out this suspicious/poisonous-smelling/horrid gas, adulterating the air of the WHOLE HOUSE. I wish in fear that the gas won’t creep into my room when I’m sleeping and pollute my lungs.

The second time he did it was when he decided to be LAZY again and put two uncooked eggs in a bowl of water and place in the microwave for two minutes. It exploded, DUH.There was so much pressure in the microwave that the microwave door swung open,the egg shells shattered and sprinkled itself on the cabinets of our kitchen.Bits of half-cooked egg whites and diced shells. Imagine that.

(I wish I could illustrate it. But,I am too busy.)

His side of the argument?

“The microwave lousy, cannot cook eggs.”

I genuinely don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

The purposes for a microwave is for you to REHEAT and DEFROST.

NOT COOK IN IT.

”Cie, i got it all UNDERR CONTRRROL.”